Qazi Mudasir
Seems like the paradise on earth is rapidly metamorphosing into the haven of two sordid things, i.e. divorces and depression as the fate of thousands of women are trapped in between civil courts, Sharia law and other religious organizations. Extramarital affairs, Ostentation, extravagance and dowry seem to be the possible reasons behind the increasing divorce cases in the valley which has been potential threat to the stability of the good relationship of the happily married couples.
The latest figures available with the Jammu and Kashmir State Women’s Commission, reveals that there is an inexorable rise in post marital disputes in valley. There are 2280 cases registered with the commission till date, out of which 1664 cases are from valley and 616 cases from Jammu. Around 750 cases have been settled by the commission since its inception.
“The commission receives 5 to 10 cases a day on an average and sometimes more than 10. Our aim is to persuade the couple for reconciliation and help them to end a marital discord to start a good relationship again. In case the two sides fail to reconcile despite strenuous efforts on our part, they are sent to courts. The commission does not possess the powers for the dissolution of marriage.” Said Roubina Kousar, Secretary J&K State Womens Commission.
She further added that women cite various reasons like harassment, extramarital affairs and non maintenance by husbands to end their marriage. The commission has received around 25 such cases in last six months where extramarital affairs have been cited as the main cause behind the dispute.
One such case is of Haseena, 38, who has got fed up with her husband’s egregious behaviour and constant physical and mental tortures by her in-laws. Haseena now demands divorce from her husband for which she has already registered a case in a civil court, which has been pending since one year as her husband is unwilling to do so. She is moving from pillar to post in order to get her long pending case settled.
“My husband is involved in an extramarital affair with a girl who belongs to a very affluent family and intends to marry with her, but he considers me an obstacle in his way. He and other family members often beat me on the pretext of causing an obstruction”. Said Haseena, who has been living with her parents at Bandipora for last couple of years along with her 12 year old daughter.
Haseena is going through a severe depression as her life seems stuck in limbo. She came to know about her husband’s extramarital affairs a year after her marriage. Initially she had tried to eschew her husband’s actions but with the passage of time, things started to go haywire. She was unable to tolerate the relentless harassment inflicted by her husband and in laws and consequently went to her parent’s home.
“I have decided to stay with my parents so that I can save myself from the cruel and unfair treatment of my husband and In-laws. My husband seems to be completely besotted with the girl he is in affair with. He consistently uses to talk to her on phone, exchange nonsense comments for hours that too in my presence which is unacceptable to me”. Haseena said.
Like Haseena, there are thousands of other women who have registered their cases with Womens Commission and also in various courts of the valley, but the decisions on their cases are in abeyance for years.
The issues of marital feuds are pervasive in almost all sections of society and have enmeshed not only lower class or uneducated people but also people from upper class and well educated families. It emanates from the top and percolates down to the lower sections of society.
“A Post marital dispute usually takes place in both the lower income groups as well as those who are financially sound. The top layer of the society like doctors and engineers seems to be more susceptible to such issues as compared to lower or middle class. We have even some cases of elites and NRI’s registered with the commission.” Said Roubina Kousar.
“There has been a tremendous increase in the number of post marital disputes in past couple of years. Thousands of cases of marital discord and maintenance issues are pending in different courts of the state. Mostly separation and maintenance under 488 CrPc are reported. Under 488 CrPc provision, women gets alimony when the marriage is ended”. Said Subreen Malik, a lawyer at Sadder Court Srinagar.
In present times when courts are unable to deliver justice in time, especially in cases of marital discords, most of the people prefer to approach Muslim Shariah law board as the only recourse.
Expressing his deep resentment over the increasing marital breakdowns, Mufti Gulzar Ahmed, a cleric and an active member of Dar-Ul-Iftah, Muslim Shariah Law Board Chattabal Srinagar said, that Dar-Ul- Iftah has received more than 30 cases of divorce last year and 8 cases of those are still under trial. The issue of extramarital affairs have been cited in almost five cases. The ostensible reasons behind the extra-marital affairs and growing disputes between husband and wife are lack of religious knowledge and progressive fall in moral standards.
“When a person is not well acquainted with authentic Islamic knowledge and adopts those ways which are antithetical to what Allah has stipulated in Quran, he gets entangled in myriad problems of life, especially in the cases of marital relationship. The husbands remain unaware of their duties towards their wives and vice versa. Parents spend lavishly in marriages but never spend an hour to inculcate a sense of moral and religious principles in their sons and daughters to make them aware of their rights and duties.” Said Mufti Gulzar Ahmed, who has been affiliated with Dar-Ul-Iftah for last 5 years.
Extramarital affairs are not considered the sole cause behind the marital disputes albeit there are many other reasons like dowry, ostentation and extravagance in marriage ceremonies that are responsible in providing fresh impetus to the rapidly increasing number of divorce cases in valley.
“Apart from extramarital affairs, the reasons behind the increasing divorce cases are conspicuous consumption, extravagance and ostentatious weddings where people spend lavishly and make an exaggerated display of wealth to impress others. These things provide impetus to the growing marital discords in our society” Said Tawseef Ahmed Joo, Advocate Sadar Court Srinagar.
He further added that our society and newly devised customs and traditions are also responsible for the growing menace of divorces to a large extent. Until and unless people in our society bring change in their behaviour at the grass roots level, valley will see no end to this nuisance. “People are becoming increasingly egocentric. When a family receives a car, jewellery and other gifts in dowry at the time of marriage from the parents of bride, it creates a strong greed in other families in society. They expect same from their own brides and consequently raise a demand. This results in dispute between the two and therefore relationship gradually becomes worse and collapses in the end.” he said.
Same is the case with 35 year old Sayeeda Begum from Soura, who also seek divorce from her husband. Six months after her marriage, the in-laws started to abuse her over dowry issue and thereby subjected her to severe inhumane treatment. Her all jewellery including some gold ornaments has already been snatched and squandered by her husband.
“I was tortured physically as well as mentally soon after my marriage. My husband saw his friend getting a car in gift from his in-laws, and expected my parents to bring the same car for him or rupees 5 lakh cash for business, but my parents are not in a position to fulfil his demands. He took all my valuables that I had brought with me from my home. He sold all my jewellery and bought motor cycle with the proceeds. Inspite of this, he and his family members continues to taunt and harass me over dowry issue” said Sayeeda Begum who spends every day trudging around the courts and other organisations in order to get speedy justice.
Initially she had approached Mohalla President to seek his intervention in her issue. The Mohalla President had tried to settle the issue amicably but to no avail. Overwhelmed by a mood of despondency, she moved towards Shariah board to plead her case with a hope to acquire fair justice.
“We provide justice in consonance with Islamic laws and always make efforts to resolve the issues within stipulated time” said Mufti Gulzar Ahmed.
He also said that patience and tolerance are two important things which are required everywhere to be successful and also in married life “In order to keep marriage successful, tolerance and patience is must. Both the partners should understand each other and should neglect each other’s mistakes and defects with patience” He said.
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